My doctor ordered three tests, a mammogram, a CT scan of my chest and an ultrasound of my uterus. He said the PET scan would have done everything these three tests did and more. It also would have been cheaper for the insurance (and me) but this is what my insurance wanted. I had the three tests done. There was no indication of breast cancer, nothing concerning in my chest, like lung cancer and no uterine or ovarian cancer. Very good news!! This means we can wait until my next MRI. My next endocrinologist appointment will be April 11th. We are still figuring out the right dosage for my estrogen. I took it for the month of January and had it tested the beginning of February. It was still low. So, my gynecologist doubled the dosage and I took that for the month of February and just had it tested again yesterday. I should hear back on those results Monday or Wednesday. The hot flashes have stopped but I'm still quite moody (my poor family) and not losing weight.
I was running with two of my very good running friends this morning and we were chatting about some different things and one of them mentioned letting go of some things in her life. I then got an image in my head of the me today holding onto the me almost a year ago. I was holding on to her so dang tight. I wanted to be her so bad. I wanted to think about the same things she did. I wanted to have her same goals. I wanted be her same weight. I wanted my body to look just like hers. Everything she was, I wanted to be. Then, I let her go. I am not the same person I was before and I will never be the same person I was before. Why would I want to be? That person has not gone through what I've been through. That person has not learned the things I've learned. I am a new version of me and I will continue to learn and grow and change again, just like everyone does. It was so hard to let her go. I've been holding on to her for a long time. I kept thinking she was better. But, I'm ready now. The me today kicks butt!
