Resilience

It almost been two months since my last post and the medication has been working pretty well for the most part. The race at Mt. Lemmon went well. I was surprisingly disappointed in my performance after the race despite going into it with the goal of just finishing. The brain is funny sometimes. The thing I was most grateful for, however, was the time I got to spend with 6 other ladies who have become like sisters to me. I really needed that girl time! I ended up running another race on Thanksgiving Day. This is a family tradition I started about 4 years ago. I missed last year but decided to start it up again. Tahirah and Noah both joined me this time. Noah and I both ended up getting first in our age group (Noah with a 3 min PR!). Interestingly enough, it was actually my slowest 5K after my very first.

It had been 5 months since my last period. My endocrinologist thought that once my medication started working it would come back. I've also been experiencing hot flashes, weight gain, mood swings and non existent libido. I let my doctor know what was going on he had me come in. He rechecked all of my pituitary hormones again; all came back normal. He decided to get the help of my gynecologist. He also suggested we do another MRI.

I had the MRI on Monday, Dec 10th. I saw my gynecologist on Wednesday, Dec 12th. My gynecologist used an ultrasound to check my uterus and ovaries. He saw that the lining of my uterus was thin, the opposite of what would happen if you didn't not have a period for several months. There were several tiny cysts on my ovaries but nothing too concerning. His guess was that I was low on estrogen. Since my FSH and LH was normal, my ovaries were getting the signal to start my cycle but my ovaries were not responding. He told me if my estrogen blood test came back low, I could choose to take a low dose birth control pill or biodentical estrogen. I liked the idea of the biodentical estrogen best. He said the only drawback was I might get spotty periods depending on how much estrogen my body produced at any given time.

Wednesday afternoon, I wondered why I hadn't heard from my endocrinologist about my MRI results so I called after work and left a message. The MA called me the next morning and told me the doctor wanted to see me to discuss the results. She acted very funny about it. At first she gave me the option of Tuesday the next week but then said to hold. She got back on and said we don't normally do this but the doctor said you could come in today (Thursday, Dec 13th) at 11:20. I started getting worried that something was really wrong.

The first thing my endocrinologist told me was my estrogen test came back with a level of 0. I am producing no estrogen. Guess I won't have to worry about spotty periods. He also told me the reason it had taken him longer to get back to me was that he had been discussing my condition with other doctors. He said he probably called and talk to about 20 different doctors. The radiologist that looked at my MRI did not agree with the radiologist that looked at my first MRI back in August. The first radiologist had diagnosed me with lympocytic hypophysitis which is basically inflammation because my pituitary stalk was enlarged. The second MRI showed that the stalk was still enlarged. The second radiologist said that if it was lympocytic hypophysitis the inflammation should have gone down by now (4 months later). He believed I may have a tumor.

A pituitary tumor can be caused by 25 other conditions, many different autoimmune diseases and cancers. The doctor said we could do a biopsy but there was extreme risk of damaging the entire pituitary in doing so and therefore losing all function of it completely. The other option was to do a PET scan which will show inflammation or any cancer throughout my whole body. We both liked the idea of a PET scan for peace of mind. He said the problem we may run into is an approval from my insurance since I had no visible lesions on my body to indicate cancer. He said he would call my insurance personally to explain my condition and why a PET scan would be the best choice. He also took 11 vials of blood to check other possible conditions and ordered a chest x-ray as well (lung cancer is one of the possible conditions and he wants to rule out everything).

I got a call today to schedule my PET scan. She told me she had to schedule it at least 7 days out for insurance purposes. I'm not sure if that meant my insurance has approved it or if that is why it is scheduled out further to give them time to get an approval. It is scheduled for Dec 26th. (I opted not to have it done on Christmas day, which was the next available appointment after the 7 days).

I was hoping there would be no more updates to report on and I could move on from all of this. I keep trying to just stay on the surface for now and not think too deeply about things until I get some more answers. I sat pondering last night what my Heavenly Father wanted me to learn from all of this. I believe I will (hopefully) learn many things but a word suddenly came into my head during my run this morning. RESILIENCE. Things have definitely have not gone as planned. I keep trying to plan what will happen next in all of this but I keep getting surprised. I know I will always have the strength I need to meet every surprise. I keep telling myself, I will adapt. I will bounce back. I will be ok.